Rule of Life

A rule of life is a commitment to live your life in a particular way. It is meant to be crafted with prayer and discernment, in partnership with God, as you consider the way God made you and the values He has inscribed upon your heart. Once written, it serves as a tool that can help you make decisions for your life and determine how best to order your days.

The first example of a Christian rule of life came from the Desert Fathers, a monastic community of mystics living in Egypt around the third century AD. The most well-known rule is the rule of St. Benedict, written fifteen hundred years ago, which was created to help his community of monks translate their faith into the habits and rhythms of their shared daily life. His famous rule has inspired many communities and individuals to develop their own rules with a similar intention.

What is a rule of life?

Our English word rule is derived from the Latin regula, meaning “a straight piece of wood,” “a ruler,” and, by extension, “a pattern, model, or example.” Esther de Waal, a longtime student of monastic spirituality, writes that “regula, a feminine noun, carries gentle connotations: a signpost, a railing, something that gives me support as I move forward in my search for God.” A rule of life, then, serves as a gentle guide that keeps you trained toward God.

In this way, a rule of life is different than the goals, intentions, or resolutions we tend to set for ourselves. Those methods are task-based and measurable, and they’re often focused on what we do. A rule of life, on the other hand, helps you become. It is comprised of several simple statements that guide the posture of your life and the living of your days. It is not lived perfectly but can be lived faithfully while fostering within you an integrated and embodied life of faith.

Why create a rule of life?

Most of us do not belong to communities, monastic or otherwise, that give us a rule to follow, but all communities and families share values and expectations, whether or not they are clearly articulated, and these values and expectations form us, often without our awareness. By crafting a rule of life, we become intentional about the forces and dynamics that shape who we are becoming.

How do I get started?

Allow your rule to develop slowly over time. Listen for God and realize that the unique expression of Christ in you, your family, and your church will look different than the expression of Christ in others. It can be helpful to remember that the kingdom is built by the whole of the church body, so you need only seek to be a faithful hand or foot. Ask God how to live your part faithfully.

Consider inviting others into this exercise with you, such as a spouse, a spiritual director, or members of your community. Regard your rule as a living document—something you can review and adjust as you live it out.

—Jenn Giles Kemper 

Below, you'll find an ever-growing collection of resources to help you deepen your understanding of a rule of life and develop your own. Some of the resources were created by members of the Sacred Ordinary Days community of kindreds, and the list has been—and will continue to be—curated by our kindreds. Share your own recommendations for additional resources in the Sacred Ordinary Days Facebook group to have them added here.

The Rule of St. Benedict

Wisdom Distilled from the Daily: Living the Rule of St. Benedict Today by Joan Chittister

Designing a Woman's Life: A Practical Guide to Discovering Your Unique Purpose and Passion by Judith Couchman

At Home in the World: A Rule of Life for the Rest of Us by Margaret Guenther

Crafting a Rule of Life: An Invitation to the Well-Ordered Way by Stephen A. Macchia

Thrive: Life-Giving Disciplines for a Chaotic World by Markene Meyer

A Mother's Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul by Holly Pierlot

You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habit by James K. A. Smith

The Rule of the Society of Saint John the Evangelist by the Society of Saint John the Evangelist

St. Benedict's Toolbox: The Nuts and Bolts of Everyday Benedictine Living by Jane Tomaine

The Artist's Rule: Nurturing Your Creative Soul with Monastic Wisdom by Christine Valters Paintner



S1 | E5 : Ordinary Time + Rule of Life with Jenn Giles Kemper and Lacy Clark Ellman on the Sacred Ordinary Days podcast

An Invitation to a Well-Ordered Way with Stephen A. Macchia and Nathan Foster on the Renovaré podcast